The pretty Boy

The Pretty boy and i were facebook friends, but i have no idea how i know him. We have a few friends in common, so i figure it was a random add.

He was one of the boys that i had been flirting with since my split, I had held back from this one as he is way too pretty than what i would normally go for.

Perfect face, and well his body was ....there are no words.

However we exchanged numbers, and we agreed to meet on Thursday for dinner. We had orignally planned to go to nandos, for some of their delicious chicken, but he decided to change restaurants, as he fancied something hot.

He picked an indian restaurant in an area by him. I love indian food, so this wasn't an issue.

The day of the date comes, and honestly, i'm not really feeling it. I doubt that i am going to be attracted to him. I like people with character. He didn't seem to have any.

But as i had agreed to go, i thought it would be very rude to cancel at such short notice, plus i hadn't had a curry for ages, so why not.

He wanted to pick me up, which i wasn't crazy about, but i agreed to do. he arrived and i noticed that he didnt look as pretty as i had thought. Don't get me wrong. He was gorgeous, he could get any woman he wants. Seriously that good looking. But i was pleasantly surprised.

At this point in the story i should point out that the area of the UK i live in has a very thick accent. Some people grow out of it (like me) others don't. We kind of have our own language. People don't really understand what we are saying if we dont speak correctly. I do this when i am with my family, because thats how everyone speaks. I understand it. It's not an issue.

Pretty boys accent is really really thick. to the point where i am having to ask him to repeat himself as even i couldn't understand it. Come on! i speak the lingo! This is bad

On arrival at the restaurant, we wait for a table, he looks over the menu, and is probably asking me lots of questions, but i just smile and laugh, because i cannot understand a word of it!

He decides that he is going to go for the 5 courses for £10.00 offer. He tells me to do the same and order whatever i like as he will eat what i don't.

So i have the obligatory popadums and sauce. The Tandori chicken to start, followed by a chicken curry with Chips and a Naan Bread.

He has the popadum and sauce. Chicken Chat to start. Chicken tikki Madras. Tandori Chicken Madras. Boiled rice. Chips, and a cheese naan. In case you didnt read that right, thats enough food for 2 maybe even 3 people!

Whilst we are waiting for the food to start arriving, we start chatting. he is working on a building site for an agency. But he has to finish early on fridays so that he can go and sign on!

What!!!! Thats my taxes you are abusing!

I asked if he had been doing that long? his reply - 2 years!!!! This guy is proud of it! we are from different worlds, and i feel like giving him a lecture. Dickhead.

Our food arrives and honestly i was starving. But i couldn't eat it, It wasn't great. Chips were fine, but it's not hard to get those right.

He on the other hand is chowing down like a good un. It's at this point i realise he talks with his mouth full. Don't get me wrong, i assume when i'm at home i do this to. But i am sat right opposite this dude. I can see everything that is half chewed up in his mouth.

OH MY GOD!

We make small talk, i really don't want to encourage him to talk, as it makes me feel ill.

I try to eat as much of this food as i can, but i leave quite a lot of it. He on the other hand has eaten everything. He then proceeds to eat what i have left. Normally i have no problem with this, but really ? he has just eaten a massive amount of food!!

It's at this point, he picks up my Naan bread. I have only eaten the top part, so there is lots of it left. He picks the whole thing up with both hands, puts it in his mouth and rips off the rest, making a roaring noise at the same time!

I shit you not! My jaw hit the floor!

Once he has finished all of the food i had left he asks for the bill, I'm thinking thank god. He hasn't asked to move this date anywhere so i am hoping to go home at this point.

We leave the restaurant and walk the few steps to the car, its at this point he tells me that he is still hungry and would i mind if he swings by Mcdonalds on the way to drop me off?

By this time, I'm just laughing. I cannot stop laughing.

He orders himself a mcflurry (oreo)And eats it whilst driving me home. We pulls up outside my house. I thanked him for dinner, and told him it was nice to meet him. He tells me he will call me, and goes in for a kiss. All i can think about is all the food in his mouth when he was talking, so i turn my head and go for the kiss on the cheek. It works.

He text me an hour later telling me he had a great time, and he would love to see me again. I did reply as i like to be polite, but do not mention seeing him again.

It's taken me 3 weeks to get rid of him. In the end i had to just not reply to his texts, which i don't like to do. But my god no. Just no!

He is no longer my facebook friend.